10/16/2018

Here’s how I know the Jews exaggerated about how long they wandered the desert: there is no way that Jewish women would ever survive 40 years without shopping. I’d consider it a victory if I made it just 40 days without shopping. Hell, even 40 hours would be a personal best. When I think of the poor Israelite women in that harsh desert climate, having left behind all their cool Ancient Egyptian skincare products, bored to tears eating Manna meal after meal, and having to wear the same tired sheaths and robes, my heart weeps. My name is Elisa, and I am a shopaholic. I am a social shopper, an emotional shopper, and a compulsive shopper. The medical term for a shopaholic is an oniomaniac (not too thrilled about the maniac part). A therapist once told me that I shop too much and shopping and overspending are at the root of all my issues. I fired her immediately and bought a new pair of shoes.