Speaker of The House

Parody of “Master of the House” from Les Miserables
Welcome, my friend, sit yourself down
And meet the most corrupt woman in town
As for the Dems, all of us crooks
Spitting on constituents and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Women as old as me
A broad of malintent
Who’s content to be
Speaker of the house, doling out the charm
Friends with Chuck Schumer and will do you harm
Tells a saucy tale, in bed with Sleepy Joe
Constituents appreciate some quid pro quo
Glad to do Ukraine a favor
Doesn’t cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!
Speaker of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ruling over Congress cuz I’m better than you
Drinking all the wine, drinking all my weight
Calling a press conference when I can’t see straight
Everybody loves a congresswoman
Everybody’s partisan friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won’t I bleed ’em in the end!
Speaker of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants an illegal immigrant to pass me by
Welfare for the poor, my policies are great
Lying, degenerate, and full of hate!
Democrats all love impeachment
Democrats all hate Trump
I do what Soros pleases
Jesus! Whos ready for the Schiff show!
Welcome lobbyists
We have no ethics code
This is DC
I can be bought for a load
California’s a mess
My district’s a curse
Homeless people on the streets
San Francisco’s the worst
Here the bills are buried
Here the swamp is live
And nothing’s voted on
Till I’m satisfied…
Lies beyond compare
Lies beyond belief
Pushing socialism and government cheese
Brain of a horse thinks hearsay is fact
Trying to take away your guns so you cant act
Dreamers are more than welcome
You just can’t stay with me
Higher taxes
Plus, some little extras on the side!
Charge ’em for their strife, extra for their wife
Ten percent for Republicans who are pro-life
Here a little slice, there a little cut
After this, you’ll be lucky to afford Pizza Hut
When it comes to scamming Americans
There are a lot of tricks I know
How it all increases, all those bits, and pieces
Jesus! It’s amazing how my wealth grows!
Everybody bless the speaker
Everybody bless the House!
Everybody raise a glass
Raise it up Pelosi’s ass
Everybody raise a glass to the Speaker of the House!