3/24/2019

3/24/2019

I can admit when I’m wrong. I jumped on the anti-Hedi Slimane at Celine bandwagon with everyone else. I bitched and moaned that Slimane’s debut collection for Celine was boring and the same old mess he created at Saint Laurent. I Iamented when he dropped the accent in “Celine” and rebranded like he always does. And I latched onto the general mob mentality hating on Slimane’s every move. Until yesterday when I walked into The Celine boutique in the Miami Design District…

Of course, the collection strongly resembles Slimane’s tenure at Saint Laurent. But viewed as separates, the collection is sleek and wearable, without a trace of the grunginess that went down the runway. The first thing I noticed was the array of well-tailored basics, including black pants, clean, crisp white blouses, tees, and leather pencil skirts. The outerwear is simple but phenomenal, especially a long black cashmere coat with a leather belt and a cropped box-cut pea coat. On the whole, the clothes are more classic than rock n’ roll, with the exception of a few babydoll dresses that remind me of Slimane’s debut at Saint Laurent, as well as 90’s Anna Sui. The accessories, in particular the Berlin leather ankle boots, are youthful and versatile, and are frankly the most edgy part of the collection currently available. I purchased a pair in white and will soon return for the black. The new handbag collection is actually a bit on the conservative side for my taste, but the bags look well crafted and befitting of the Celine woman.

Ok, so the New Celine is nothing new or groundbreaking, but its surprisingly sophisticated and, I must say, falls safely within the brand’s DNA and heritage and is oddly reminiscent of Michael Kors’ tenure at the brand. The runway presentation for Spring/Summer really exxaggerated the rock n’ roll, grunginess of the clothing. I think Celine fans will be pleased. One again, LVMH CEO, Bernard Arnault, proves why he is on top of his game as the controversial decision to appoint Hedi Slimane as creative Director of Celine finally makes sense.

3/17/2019

3/17/2019

Last week I had the pleasure of attending Valentino’s Spring/Summer Collection presentation at the Four Seasons in Surfside. The Four Seasons looks more like an Italian Villa than a Miami Beach hotel and Valentino’s party planners have a knack for choosing the most exquisite locations for their events. The presentation was held on the terrace overlooking the beach. Beautiful models with legs to die for casually showed off Valentino’s latest frocks as the clients oohed and aahhed in delight. Each dress was better than the next, featuring an array of color, beadwork, feathers, and couture pleating. My favorite thing about these particular dresses was they looked equally amazing in heels and flats and were perfect for Miami, although they would translate anywhere. Valentino’s newest collection of handbags, including the much hyped, VRING, are really lovely and practical, especially the totes. We also got to see a one of a kind and droolworthy crocodile handbag. The presentation was fabulous and gave clients the chance to see the pieces up close and get some styling ideas. Several clients wore pieces from the new collection and it was great to see the dresses flatter real women with curves, not just the models. I’m really excited to spot these new Valentino pieces on the party circuit…so can someone please invite me to some more parties?!?

3/11/2019

Saturday evening I attended my very first gala. Valentino sponsors a gala for the Perez Art Museum Miami called Art of the Party and was kind enough to invite my mom and I to join them at their table. I had some drama overcoming my personal issues coming to terms with wearing a gown but after all the crying and freakouts I felt like a princess for the evening. My Valentino gown consisted of a black slip with a chantilly lace cape overlay and it was truly stunning. It also hid my arms which have always been the bane of my existence, no matter what size I am. Everyone from Valentino looked magnificent in their gowns and the setting was ethereal and magical, complete with pink lit palm trees and a bay view. There was a delightful breeze from the water and the mood was relaxed and fun. I got into the spirit and took about a zillion photos which I never do because to this day I have no clue how to pose without looking totally awkward and uncomfortable and constipated.

The night began with cocktails and we were introduced to Anthony, our personal butler for the evening. My mom is used to doing everything for herself in addition to taking care of everyone else, but she adjusted quite quickly to having her own butler and happily declared, “I’m like a real housewife!”. She and Anthony became fast friends and confidantes and he dutifully brought her drinks and teas and an assortment of plastic heel covers. Looking around, I don’t think anyone else had their own personal butlers, not even the million dollar donors or Marc Anthony, who was in attendance. But Anthony insisted on staying with us and I joked that he and my mom were like the new Harold and Maude (even though I am much too young to know that reference).

Dinner was served after a brief presentation and short video about honorees and philanthropists Dorothy and Aaron Podhurst. They first met in college and have been together for 60 years and he still completely worships her, which I understand because she looks incredible for her age!

I never like the food at these things because I am extremely picky and have a severe shellfish allergy, but I wasn’t worried because I had a rotisserie chicken from Whole Foods waiting for me at home. But the VP of Valentino Retail got word that one of their guests couldn’t eat the food and he came over to check on me and make sure I found something, which was incredibly kind and sweet. But let’s be honest, I’ve never starved… I can always eat dessert! He used to work for Lanvin and we had a really interesting discussion about the company and whether they can find their identity after the exit of Alber Elbaz. We also talked about Baltimore because he used to live in Bolton Hill in a beautiful brownstone. He said he only paid about $380 a month but his friends were robbed at gunpoint in his backyard after a dinner party and that honestly just about sums up Baltimore City.

After dinner, with Anthony in tow, we made our way to the Remix After Party and met up with the rest of the Valentino team and I had major gown envy because not only did all the girls look beautiful, they looked comfortable and wore their gowns with such ease, while I had already tripped half a dozen times. The music started with remixed songs from the 60s and 70s but as soon as it transitioned to current songs I don’t know, the evening was winding down for me. I was exhausted and my rotisserie chicken awaited me (although I ended up binging on chips and nutella, instead). We managed to exit around midnight, just before the rain started. Anthony and my mom said their tearful and heartfelt goodbyes, and we were off. I am so grateful to everyone at Valentino for including us at their gala. I’ve retired my gown but I’m looking forward to dressing in Valentino later this week for their Spring/Summer presentation at the Four Seasons in Surfside.

3/4/2019

What Her Engagement Ring Stone Shape Says About Her Bedroom Behavior:

Round: Don’t be fooled by the classic and timeless shape of a round diamond. Girls with round stones are freaks in the bedroom and willing to try anything. It’s always the quiet ones.

Princess: This girl only does it missionary style and don’t even bother asking for a BJ. She’s a square, just like her ring shape.

Emerald: This chick wears a nightgown and sleep mask to bed and wakes up early to do her makeup before her man gets up. She will dutifully fulfill her marital obligations.

Cushion: Enjoys her lingerie and definitely owns a pair of crotchless panties.

Pear: She’s got major body issues and the ring to match. Only does it with the lights off. Fat bottom girls you make the rockin world go round.

Oval: She’s trendy and reads Cosmo so she knows how to please herself.

Marquise: Well versed in the kama sutra.

Heart: The woman with a heart shaped stone will have sex solely for the purpose of procreating and possibly once a year on his birthday.

**not based on actual fact